Church: Beautiful Bride
Alas! The goats lie with sheep!
Sheep shall persevere!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Is anything certain?
How certain are you about what will happen tomorrow? Are you certain that you will just go through the day-in, day-out routine of life? Will you wake up, eat, go to class, eat, go to more class, maybe work out, eat, study, sleep, and then repeat? How certain are you of this? Of course, you would remark, every day is different: each day is filled with new surprises, challenges, and every day is different from the one before it. If so, my friend, how can you have faith in the certainty that you will live tomorrow?
Life is a vapor, my friends, and we all know that life, as precious as it is, can be taken away in an instant. We all have some experience with death - whether it's a family member who died of a heart attack, a friend who was killed in a car accident, or even an acquaintance or classmate who was killed in a freak accident because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Life can end abruptly, it can be longer than expected, but there is one thing that we can know for sure: statistics tell us that upon birth, people have a 100% mortality rate. That's right - you don't know when, and I don't know when, but there is an appointed day in the future in which our death certainly will arrive.
I am not telling you this to scare you or just for the sake of telling you. No, I am telling you this to remind you of the certainty of death, and you all have a date with death - and it could be a minute after you hear these words, an hour later, a day - or many, many years from now. But, death is certain and unavoidable.
When that day arrives, you may be ready for it, and you may not be. Regardless, you will find yourself before the judgment seat of God, and all your deeds - everything you have ever said, thought, done - will be looked at and inspected. And just like a judicial court, you will be held accountable to a law - and for God, the law he gave was the 10 commandments, and it is by that standard that you shall be judged.
The 9th commandment holds that we must not lie. Have you lied? Even once? If so, you have broken the 9th commandment, and every account of your life in which you lied will be held against you.
The 8th commandment holds that we must not steal. Have you ever stolen anything? Even the tiniest thing that seems so insignificant - it doesn't matter about the size of the crime - it matters that the law was broken.
The 6th commandment says to not murder. I don't think that any of us has killed anyone recently, but Jesus redefined it, saying that even if anyone has hatred or bitterness toward a brother, he commits murder in his heart.
So, from three out of the ten commandments, we all are - you, me, him, her - are self proclaimed liars, thieves, and murderers. And it does not matter if we have broken one or another, for the Bible tells us that if we fail in breaking even one point of the law, we are accountable for all of it (James 2:10).
But, maybe you think that the ten commandments don't apply anymore because it was Old Testament law? Well, even if that were true, Jesus tells us the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself. Have you honestly done even that? Have you loved God with ALL of your being? Have you treated your neighbor with unmerited, unselfish, completely sacrificial and other-centered love?
All of these breakings of the law, my friends, is what the Bible calls sin. For it is through the law that we come by the knowledge of sin (Romans 3:20). But, knowing this isn't enough - just as in court, there is a penalty for breaking the law, breaking God's perfect law requires just punishment. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) - and that includes you, me, my mom, your brother, our friends, everyone. And for sinning and breaking the law, the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23), not just physical death, but an eternal death, a life separated from the grace and love of God and one that suffers the holy and just wrath of God for breaking the perfect law. It is God's law you have broken, so for breaking absolute law, you must suffer absolute punishment, and that is HELL.
Hell is not where God isn't - hell is where only God's wrath and justice is poured out upon you, and his mercy and love is withheld. You are not the only one who deserves the punishment - I do, we all do. It is the natural default of human beings to do evil and sin and deserve hell for all of those personal breakings of the law. For none is righteous...no one seeks after God... no one does good, not even one" (Romans 3:10).
Am I telling you all of this merely to make you depressed, low, and guilty for the sake of it alone? No, my friends, for just as a farmer must plow and plow into rock hard soil to make the ground suitable to plant seed for his harvest, the heart of man, because it is wicked and hardened like stone, must be plowed with the bad news before the seed of the good news can be planted to take root.
The stars are out there in the sky, shining ever so brightly - but why can't we see them during the day? Is it because they are shining less? No, it is because of the brightness of the day. But, when darkness fills the sky, the stars appear to magnify more and more in their splendor. In the same way, the good news will shine forth more majestically in the backdrop of our darkness and knowledge of how sinful we are.
What is the good news? The good news is that God, out of love, sent his only Son, Jesus Christ, born of a virgin, to live the perfect life that never broke any of God's perfect law, and He was placed upon a cross to die, not just a physical death, but a spiritual one. When Christ was on that cross, God put forth all of the wrath and justice that was meant for you and me, and he placed it on Jesus, who cried out, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?"
Jesus died, was buried in a tomb, and three days later, in a fulfillment of Scripture in the Old Testament, He rose again from the dead and appeared to women and men - from the disciples to others who had only heard about Him, to prove that it was God's plan to save and redeem mankind through the work of Jesus Christ, the only One who could have kept every law and died absolutely righteous, and the only One who could have died for all of our sins that should have been our condemnation.
Jesus commands all men to "repent and believe in the gospel," the good news. Repentance is not merely turning away from your sins, but it is a hatred of the evil and wickedness, including the wickedness in your own flesh, and a turn to Christ in absolute desperation because you know He is mighty to save even the most wretched of us all. The Bible tells us that it is by grace we have been saved through faith, not by works, so that no man may boast (Ephesians 2:8), so it is by Christ who gives us this faith to save us because we in our own ability cannot have faith because, as Christ tells us, "You must be born again to see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3), and being born-again is by the work of God alone who gives you a new birth as his son or daughter, one in whom he has absolute love and delight. Because of Jesus, those who believe and put all of their body, soul, heart, and mind into Jesus Christ are declared righteous before God, and they will continue to be made righteous by the work of the Holy Spirit within us.
Faith is not a mere profession, praying a prayer, or a mere intellectual assent or decision. It is placing your entire trust of all you are into the hands of the faithfulness of Christ, the One who saves and who will not let any of His sheep get snatched away from Him. All whom the Father has given Him will be saved. Salvation is not a flu-shot - you do not repent just once or believe once, but you must continue to repent and believe in the power of Jesus Christ.
Just as death is a certain aspect of life, when God, by his grace, saves you and gives you the ability to continually repent of sins, cling to the love of Christ, and to continually walk the narrow road in holiness and righteousness by following Christ and learning from His Word, he who started a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6), and that, my friends, is absolutely certain.
Life is a vapor, my friends, and we all know that life, as precious as it is, can be taken away in an instant. We all have some experience with death - whether it's a family member who died of a heart attack, a friend who was killed in a car accident, or even an acquaintance or classmate who was killed in a freak accident because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Life can end abruptly, it can be longer than expected, but there is one thing that we can know for sure: statistics tell us that upon birth, people have a 100% mortality rate. That's right - you don't know when, and I don't know when, but there is an appointed day in the future in which our death certainly will arrive.
I am not telling you this to scare you or just for the sake of telling you. No, I am telling you this to remind you of the certainty of death, and you all have a date with death - and it could be a minute after you hear these words, an hour later, a day - or many, many years from now. But, death is certain and unavoidable.
When that day arrives, you may be ready for it, and you may not be. Regardless, you will find yourself before the judgment seat of God, and all your deeds - everything you have ever said, thought, done - will be looked at and inspected. And just like a judicial court, you will be held accountable to a law - and for God, the law he gave was the 10 commandments, and it is by that standard that you shall be judged.
The 9th commandment holds that we must not lie. Have you lied? Even once? If so, you have broken the 9th commandment, and every account of your life in which you lied will be held against you.
The 8th commandment holds that we must not steal. Have you ever stolen anything? Even the tiniest thing that seems so insignificant - it doesn't matter about the size of the crime - it matters that the law was broken.
The 6th commandment says to not murder. I don't think that any of us has killed anyone recently, but Jesus redefined it, saying that even if anyone has hatred or bitterness toward a brother, he commits murder in his heart.
So, from three out of the ten commandments, we all are - you, me, him, her - are self proclaimed liars, thieves, and murderers. And it does not matter if we have broken one or another, for the Bible tells us that if we fail in breaking even one point of the law, we are accountable for all of it (James 2:10).
But, maybe you think that the ten commandments don't apply anymore because it was Old Testament law? Well, even if that were true, Jesus tells us the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself. Have you honestly done even that? Have you loved God with ALL of your being? Have you treated your neighbor with unmerited, unselfish, completely sacrificial and other-centered love?
All of these breakings of the law, my friends, is what the Bible calls sin. For it is through the law that we come by the knowledge of sin (Romans 3:20). But, knowing this isn't enough - just as in court, there is a penalty for breaking the law, breaking God's perfect law requires just punishment. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) - and that includes you, me, my mom, your brother, our friends, everyone. And for sinning and breaking the law, the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23), not just physical death, but an eternal death, a life separated from the grace and love of God and one that suffers the holy and just wrath of God for breaking the perfect law. It is God's law you have broken, so for breaking absolute law, you must suffer absolute punishment, and that is HELL.
Hell is not where God isn't - hell is where only God's wrath and justice is poured out upon you, and his mercy and love is withheld. You are not the only one who deserves the punishment - I do, we all do. It is the natural default of human beings to do evil and sin and deserve hell for all of those personal breakings of the law. For none is righteous...no one seeks after God... no one does good, not even one" (Romans 3:10).
Am I telling you all of this merely to make you depressed, low, and guilty for the sake of it alone? No, my friends, for just as a farmer must plow and plow into rock hard soil to make the ground suitable to plant seed for his harvest, the heart of man, because it is wicked and hardened like stone, must be plowed with the bad news before the seed of the good news can be planted to take root.
The stars are out there in the sky, shining ever so brightly - but why can't we see them during the day? Is it because they are shining less? No, it is because of the brightness of the day. But, when darkness fills the sky, the stars appear to magnify more and more in their splendor. In the same way, the good news will shine forth more majestically in the backdrop of our darkness and knowledge of how sinful we are.
What is the good news? The good news is that God, out of love, sent his only Son, Jesus Christ, born of a virgin, to live the perfect life that never broke any of God's perfect law, and He was placed upon a cross to die, not just a physical death, but a spiritual one. When Christ was on that cross, God put forth all of the wrath and justice that was meant for you and me, and he placed it on Jesus, who cried out, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?"
Jesus died, was buried in a tomb, and three days later, in a fulfillment of Scripture in the Old Testament, He rose again from the dead and appeared to women and men - from the disciples to others who had only heard about Him, to prove that it was God's plan to save and redeem mankind through the work of Jesus Christ, the only One who could have kept every law and died absolutely righteous, and the only One who could have died for all of our sins that should have been our condemnation.
Jesus commands all men to "repent and believe in the gospel," the good news. Repentance is not merely turning away from your sins, but it is a hatred of the evil and wickedness, including the wickedness in your own flesh, and a turn to Christ in absolute desperation because you know He is mighty to save even the most wretched of us all. The Bible tells us that it is by grace we have been saved through faith, not by works, so that no man may boast (Ephesians 2:8), so it is by Christ who gives us this faith to save us because we in our own ability cannot have faith because, as Christ tells us, "You must be born again to see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3), and being born-again is by the work of God alone who gives you a new birth as his son or daughter, one in whom he has absolute love and delight. Because of Jesus, those who believe and put all of their body, soul, heart, and mind into Jesus Christ are declared righteous before God, and they will continue to be made righteous by the work of the Holy Spirit within us.
Faith is not a mere profession, praying a prayer, or a mere intellectual assent or decision. It is placing your entire trust of all you are into the hands of the faithfulness of Christ, the One who saves and who will not let any of His sheep get snatched away from Him. All whom the Father has given Him will be saved. Salvation is not a flu-shot - you do not repent just once or believe once, but you must continue to repent and believe in the power of Jesus Christ.
Just as death is a certain aspect of life, when God, by his grace, saves you and gives you the ability to continually repent of sins, cling to the love of Christ, and to continually walk the narrow road in holiness and righteousness by following Christ and learning from His Word, he who started a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6), and that, my friends, is absolutely certain.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
What are good works?
Q: What are good works?
A: Those only which proceed from true faith, and are done according to the Law of God, unto His glory, and not such as rest on our own opinion or the commandments of men (Heidelberg Catechism).
Evidence:
"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing" (John 15:5).
"And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin" (Romans 14:23).
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him" (Hebrews 11:6).
"Ye shall do my judgments, and keep mine ordinances, to walk therein: I am the LORD your God" (Leviticus 18:4).
"And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams" (1 Samuel 15:22).
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10).
"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31).
"What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it" (Deuteronomy 12:32).
"Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men" (Isaiah 29:13).
"But I said unto their children in the wilderness, Walk ye not in the statutes of your fathers, neither observe their judgments, nor defile yourselves with their idols: I am the LORD your God; walk in my statutes, and keep my judgments, and do them; and hallow my sabbaths; and they shall be a sign between me and you, that ye may know that I am the LORD your God" (Ezekiel 20:18-20).
"And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the LORD, and do them ; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring" (Numbers 15:39).
"Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, 'This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men." (Matthew 15:7-9).
A: Those only which proceed from true faith, and are done according to the Law of God, unto His glory, and not such as rest on our own opinion or the commandments of men (Heidelberg Catechism).
Evidence:
"I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing" (John 15:5).
"And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin" (Romans 14:23).
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him" (Hebrews 11:6).
"Ye shall do my judgments, and keep mine ordinances, to walk therein: I am the LORD your God" (Leviticus 18:4).
"And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams" (1 Samuel 15:22).
"For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10).
"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31).
"What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it" (Deuteronomy 12:32).
"Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men" (Isaiah 29:13).
"But I said unto their children in the wilderness, Walk ye not in the statutes of your fathers, neither observe their judgments, nor defile yourselves with their idols: I am the LORD your God; walk in my statutes, and keep my judgments, and do them; and hallow my sabbaths; and they shall be a sign between me and you, that ye may know that I am the LORD your God" (Ezekiel 20:18-20).
"And it shall be unto you for a fringe, that ye may look upon it, and remember all the commandments of the LORD, and do them ; and that ye seek not after your own heart and your own eyes, after which ye use to go a whoring" (Numbers 15:39).
"Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, 'This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men." (Matthew 15:7-9).
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Who is God?
Whether you like it or not, there is always a "god" in your life, whether you're a Christian, religious, or not.
"For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:5).
What was original sin? It was idolatry - replacing God with something else. What is your "god?" Is it doing well in school? Is it success? Is it sex? Drinking? Even what you would consider harmless things can be your idols - can you not get away from the gym? Ladies, from the shopping mall? Anything and everything in this world is by definition finite, and therefore, will ultimately fall short and will fail you.
Paul tells us in Romans 1:19: "For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him or give thanks to him, but became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things."
Everyone knows truly that there is a God, but they replace him with whatever idol they want - pride, greed, lust, etc.
But, if there is a God out there, who is he, and what is he like?
First, what is "God?" If man is finite, limited, and bounded by the tangible, God is the opposite. God is infinite, God is transcendent, and is not bound by anything, all by definition of being God.
Daniel 4:35 tells us: "All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the people of this earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: 'What have you done?'"
God, by definition of being God, is sovereign - no one has authority over him because he has authority over all because he created all. The potter is able to do whatever he wants with the clay, and the clay has no say in how he is to be molded. That is God - sovereign over the created universe, over the world, over every single action that occurs.
God is also holy.
"I am the LORD, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King" (Isaiah 43:15).
"No one is holy like the LORD, for there is none besides you. Nor is there any Rock like our God" (1 Samuel 2:2).
What is holiness? Holiness is separation - an attribute that sets oneself apart from the normal, the finite, the imperfect. Holiness is purity and perfection.
How is God's holiness and perfection shows? By the law. The law of God represents the perfection of God.
You all have heard the 10 commandments. Did you know that breaking one of these commandments is breaking God's law?
"You shall not commit adultery." Sure, you may say you haven't, but Jesus said that any man who even lusts after a woman commits adultery in his heart. "You shall not murder." You may not have killed anyone, but Jesus said that even if you hate your brother, you have committed murder in your heart. False witness - have you ever lied? Covetedness - have you ever had jealousy or envy of another? That's four strikes, my friend, and that's just four out of ten, and by the standards of God, you are guilty of breaking the law, and the breaking of any law requires punishment.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). From knowing the law, we understand sin. Sin, in its original terms, was an archery term that meant missing a bullseye - but not just that but a bullseye within a bullseye within a bullseye. It's missing absolute perfection.
This applies to us all - you, me, your mom, dad, a priest, the President, your professors - there is no limit, there is no distinction. All have sinned. Even our most righteous deeds are filthy rags before a holy God, the prophet Isaiah tells us. If God is perfect and we are not, how can we measure up to his perfection?
Now, I talked about the penalty of sin. If God is a perfect judge who is convicting a guilty murderer, if he declares him innocent, how then would he be just? If God's righteousness and holiness cannot dwell with the evil in this world and if God's justice is to destroy the evil, but if we're the cause of the evil and are all wicked, then God must deal just punishment to us.
"For the wages of sin is death," Romans tells us. This is why the Jews of the Old Testament sacrificed animals - because something had to die, blood had to be spilt to cover their sins. But, animals are also finite, so how could they appease a perfect God? There had to be death, and it was to be dealt upon us.
But, God is also perfect love. Because of this, he sent his Son, born as fully man and fully God, to live the perfect life we could never live. He performed miracles and changed the lives of many. But, what was the most important thing was His death. When Jesus was put on that cross, the holy wrath of the justice of God, the penalty we should have paid, was placed on Christ. Isaiah tells us that God was "pleased to crush Him" because it was of God's will to save.
Christ, on that cross, cried out, "My God, My God! Why have you forsaken me?" That should have been our cry, our suffering, but Christ was the perfect sacrificial Lamb that was slain once and for all eternity.
After He died and was buried, He was resurrected in three days to prove His divinity and to show that He conquered even death. He died for the sins of many, and He, the perfect Shepherd, draws those who are of His flock from every tongue and nation to Him.
Christ, in the Gospel account of Mark, commands all men to "repent and believe in the Gospel" - the good news of Christ's redemptive work. Because we cannot reach to God since we are limited and finite, God reached down to us, and not only that, He died for us.
Repentance is to turn away from all that is evil, to hate what is sinful, including your own sinful nature, and then turning to Christ, the one who is perfection, who is good, who is Holy. But, repentance is impossible for us to do on our own because we are naturally sinful and wicked and hate God with all our hearts.
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him" (John 6:44).
"Unless you are born again, you cannot see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3).
If our sinful nature cannot come to Christ, it must be a radical change of nature for us to actually repent and believe.
Ezekiel 36:26 tells us: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you a heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my laws and obey my rules."
Jeremiah 31:33 tells us: "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people."
God must make you born again, a new creature, in order for you to truly believe and truly repent, to turn away from your little "god," your pride, and feeling of selfishness.
It is not of you to choose Christ or decide with a sinner's prayer or a point of your own decision - no, Ephesians tells us:
"By grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so taht no one can boast" (2:8-9).
If you profess belief in Jesus Christ, you will know it is from God, a supernatural regeneration of the heart, if it lasts - not days or weeks, but for the rest of your life.
For "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6).
Romans tells us: "For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined he also called, he also justified, he also glorified."
If your profession and belief fade away, then it was not of God but of yourself, a work of the flesh, and you were thereby never known by God.
Matthew 7 shows us that many will cry out, "Lord Lord, did we not prophesy in your name?" And Jesus will reply, "I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." People will profess His name and say that they believed, but if there is not a change in their life that shows the fruit of a new creation, then there may have never been a true seed of God placed in your heart.
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many enter it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
If you are not walking the narrow road, following the footsteps of Jesus Christ on the tightrope of righteousness, but profess belief, then Christ may have not saved you.
How do you know if you are saved? Not by a decision, what a pastor told you, what your parents told you, or even if an evangelist declares you saved. No, the Word tells us in 2 Corinthians 13:5:
"Examine yourselves, whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves!"
Don't compare to other so-called "Christians" - how do you know they are saved? No, turn to the Word and compare, see if there are fruits in your life, if you are following Christ's footsteps!
One cannot serve two masters, Jesus tells us. One cannot love the things of the world and also love God. One must love one and hate another. One can serve a single God. And what will that be? The assured failing of the world or the assured, unwavering perfection of God?
Realize your need, your desperation, and cling to Jesus! "Having faith" is not centered on you - no, cling to the faithfulness of the King of Glory, because His faithfulness will forever stand!
Who is God? This is God - sovereign, holy, righteous, gracious, perfect, unwavering, eternal, loving, patient - and he is not weakly tapping at the door of your heart - he is scareming at the top of His lungs, "repent and believe!"
If you truly see your fallenness and complete wickedness, you will be burdened. You will realize how weary you are in your worship of your "god" - school, parties, sex, drugs, etc. - and you will realize the utter hopelessness of faith in these things. But Jesus tells us:
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
"For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil" (Genesis 3:5).
What was original sin? It was idolatry - replacing God with something else. What is your "god?" Is it doing well in school? Is it success? Is it sex? Drinking? Even what you would consider harmless things can be your idols - can you not get away from the gym? Ladies, from the shopping mall? Anything and everything in this world is by definition finite, and therefore, will ultimately fall short and will fail you.
Paul tells us in Romans 1:19: "For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him or give thanks to him, but became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things."
Everyone knows truly that there is a God, but they replace him with whatever idol they want - pride, greed, lust, etc.
But, if there is a God out there, who is he, and what is he like?
First, what is "God?" If man is finite, limited, and bounded by the tangible, God is the opposite. God is infinite, God is transcendent, and is not bound by anything, all by definition of being God.
Daniel 4:35 tells us: "All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the people of this earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: 'What have you done?'"
God, by definition of being God, is sovereign - no one has authority over him because he has authority over all because he created all. The potter is able to do whatever he wants with the clay, and the clay has no say in how he is to be molded. That is God - sovereign over the created universe, over the world, over every single action that occurs.
God is also holy.
"I am the LORD, your Holy One, the Creator of Israel, your King" (Isaiah 43:15).
"No one is holy like the LORD, for there is none besides you. Nor is there any Rock like our God" (1 Samuel 2:2).
What is holiness? Holiness is separation - an attribute that sets oneself apart from the normal, the finite, the imperfect. Holiness is purity and perfection.
How is God's holiness and perfection shows? By the law. The law of God represents the perfection of God.
You all have heard the 10 commandments. Did you know that breaking one of these commandments is breaking God's law?
"You shall not commit adultery." Sure, you may say you haven't, but Jesus said that any man who even lusts after a woman commits adultery in his heart. "You shall not murder." You may not have killed anyone, but Jesus said that even if you hate your brother, you have committed murder in your heart. False witness - have you ever lied? Covetedness - have you ever had jealousy or envy of another? That's four strikes, my friend, and that's just four out of ten, and by the standards of God, you are guilty of breaking the law, and the breaking of any law requires punishment.
"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). From knowing the law, we understand sin. Sin, in its original terms, was an archery term that meant missing a bullseye - but not just that but a bullseye within a bullseye within a bullseye. It's missing absolute perfection.
This applies to us all - you, me, your mom, dad, a priest, the President, your professors - there is no limit, there is no distinction. All have sinned. Even our most righteous deeds are filthy rags before a holy God, the prophet Isaiah tells us. If God is perfect and we are not, how can we measure up to his perfection?
Now, I talked about the penalty of sin. If God is a perfect judge who is convicting a guilty murderer, if he declares him innocent, how then would he be just? If God's righteousness and holiness cannot dwell with the evil in this world and if God's justice is to destroy the evil, but if we're the cause of the evil and are all wicked, then God must deal just punishment to us.
"For the wages of sin is death," Romans tells us. This is why the Jews of the Old Testament sacrificed animals - because something had to die, blood had to be spilt to cover their sins. But, animals are also finite, so how could they appease a perfect God? There had to be death, and it was to be dealt upon us.
But, God is also perfect love. Because of this, he sent his Son, born as fully man and fully God, to live the perfect life we could never live. He performed miracles and changed the lives of many. But, what was the most important thing was His death. When Jesus was put on that cross, the holy wrath of the justice of God, the penalty we should have paid, was placed on Christ. Isaiah tells us that God was "pleased to crush Him" because it was of God's will to save.
Christ, on that cross, cried out, "My God, My God! Why have you forsaken me?" That should have been our cry, our suffering, but Christ was the perfect sacrificial Lamb that was slain once and for all eternity.
After He died and was buried, He was resurrected in three days to prove His divinity and to show that He conquered even death. He died for the sins of many, and He, the perfect Shepherd, draws those who are of His flock from every tongue and nation to Him.
Christ, in the Gospel account of Mark, commands all men to "repent and believe in the Gospel" - the good news of Christ's redemptive work. Because we cannot reach to God since we are limited and finite, God reached down to us, and not only that, He died for us.
Repentance is to turn away from all that is evil, to hate what is sinful, including your own sinful nature, and then turning to Christ, the one who is perfection, who is good, who is Holy. But, repentance is impossible for us to do on our own because we are naturally sinful and wicked and hate God with all our hearts.
"No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him" (John 6:44).
"Unless you are born again, you cannot see the kingdom of God" (John 3:3).
If our sinful nature cannot come to Christ, it must be a radical change of nature for us to actually repent and believe.
Ezekiel 36:26 tells us: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you a heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my laws and obey my rules."
Jeremiah 31:33 tells us: "I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people."
God must make you born again, a new creature, in order for you to truly believe and truly repent, to turn away from your little "god," your pride, and feeling of selfishness.
It is not of you to choose Christ or decide with a sinner's prayer or a point of your own decision - no, Ephesians tells us:
"By grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so taht no one can boast" (2:8-9).
If you profess belief in Jesus Christ, you will know it is from God, a supernatural regeneration of the heart, if it lasts - not days or weeks, but for the rest of your life.
For "he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6).
Romans tells us: "For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined he also called, he also justified, he also glorified."
If your profession and belief fade away, then it was not of God but of yourself, a work of the flesh, and you were thereby never known by God.
Matthew 7 shows us that many will cry out, "Lord Lord, did we not prophesy in your name?" And Jesus will reply, "I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness." People will profess His name and say that they believed, but if there is not a change in their life that shows the fruit of a new creation, then there may have never been a true seed of God placed in your heart.
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many enter it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."
If you are not walking the narrow road, following the footsteps of Jesus Christ on the tightrope of righteousness, but profess belief, then Christ may have not saved you.
How do you know if you are saved? Not by a decision, what a pastor told you, what your parents told you, or even if an evangelist declares you saved. No, the Word tells us in 2 Corinthians 13:5:
"Examine yourselves, whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves!"
Don't compare to other so-called "Christians" - how do you know they are saved? No, turn to the Word and compare, see if there are fruits in your life, if you are following Christ's footsteps!
One cannot serve two masters, Jesus tells us. One cannot love the things of the world and also love God. One must love one and hate another. One can serve a single God. And what will that be? The assured failing of the world or the assured, unwavering perfection of God?
Realize your need, your desperation, and cling to Jesus! "Having faith" is not centered on you - no, cling to the faithfulness of the King of Glory, because His faithfulness will forever stand!
Who is God? This is God - sovereign, holy, righteous, gracious, perfect, unwavering, eternal, loving, patient - and he is not weakly tapping at the door of your heart - he is scareming at the top of His lungs, "repent and believe!"
If you truly see your fallenness and complete wickedness, you will be burdened. You will realize how weary you are in your worship of your "god" - school, parties, sex, drugs, etc. - and you will realize the utter hopelessness of faith in these things. But Jesus tells us:
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Glimpse, so quick
Look at her go,
Her hair floats by
And I caress the air from which she lept
And I do not care if she is not there
For I already know that I won't be able to catch up
So I will relish the void in the shape of her
As if it were a shadow of a being long gone
And I almost feel that she is there as I waver
In that empty pool, but a pool nonetheless,
Of her beauteous person, no longer is but will always remain
To be a remnant of her
A portrait, but I cannot see it,
It's merely the frame with her essence in it,
For I cannot paint something on the canvas,
Because it would be blasphemy to mock such beauty.
Even the ideal cannot propose a perfection so vast,
Only God could have formed from dust such a creation
Of grace and splendor, in His divine image,
A reflection of Him, though tattered the mirror may be,
He wipes clean and purifies to shine His shining,
And that is what I see through that face,
As it floats on by before my own,
Her modesty frames the face that shines
A beauty not of hers alone,
And her body is kept as a holy reverence
So that all see Him through her face alone,
That all she does is done by Him, through Him, for Him,
And I stand amazed at such grace
And I cannot keep myself from quivering
For I keep looking as she walks on by,
Wondering if maybe, perhaps, by chance,
She turns around, her hair tossed back,
Her eyes lock with mine
What will she see when she looks at me -
A mirror reflecting me and myself,
Or the image of Him shining back through mine eyes?
Her hair floats by
And I caress the air from which she lept
And I do not care if she is not there
For I already know that I won't be able to catch up
So I will relish the void in the shape of her
As if it were a shadow of a being long gone
And I almost feel that she is there as I waver
In that empty pool, but a pool nonetheless,
Of her beauteous person, no longer is but will always remain
To be a remnant of her
A portrait, but I cannot see it,
It's merely the frame with her essence in it,
For I cannot paint something on the canvas,
Because it would be blasphemy to mock such beauty.
Even the ideal cannot propose a perfection so vast,
Only God could have formed from dust such a creation
Of grace and splendor, in His divine image,
A reflection of Him, though tattered the mirror may be,
He wipes clean and purifies to shine His shining,
And that is what I see through that face,
As it floats on by before my own,
Her modesty frames the face that shines
A beauty not of hers alone,
And her body is kept as a holy reverence
So that all see Him through her face alone,
That all she does is done by Him, through Him, for Him,
And I stand amazed at such grace
And I cannot keep myself from quivering
For I keep looking as she walks on by,
Wondering if maybe, perhaps, by chance,
She turns around, her hair tossed back,
Her eyes lock with mine
What will she see when she looks at me -
A mirror reflecting me and myself,
Or the image of Him shining back through mine eyes?
Monday, October 12, 2009
Her, who is
Her voice:
So distinct and so familiar
I feel at ease when I hear it
Yet I feel like my heart will burst when I hear it
The way she says one word,
The way she moves when she says that word,
Recalling it in my mind is not enough,
For it is only a mockery of the true beauty,
Idolatry at its finest pathetic nature.
How I want to arise to that voice every morning,
Just a mere whisper would suffice
In the middle of a dark wood,
The forest shadows wavering to and fro,
The darkest dark of the darkest night
Could not compete with her jovial glow.
So authentic, so genuine,
Superficiality is not in her vocabulary,
Who she is today is who she is tomorrow,
And I can hold her to her word.
She does not feel the need to change
The way she acts, the way she talks,
She can be herself, her beautiful self,
In any interaction, with any person.
She understands reverence, she understands humility,
But she will not feign kindness and a likable personality
Just to appease the masses.
Her virtues hold when all fall away.
A woman can fake a personality, and many have to me,
And I have almost dared to say that there is none who is not fake.
But her today is her tomorrow, her night is her day,
Her lowest of lows is her highest of highs,
And God is her center of being.
I value her above the world,
For how hard is it to find one like her?
I want to hold her tight, in my arms
And none will hurt her, none will take her away.
How majestic will it be,
How honorable will it be,
For she deserves to be pursued with all honor and virtue,
For she is not of the common pedestrian,
She is more.
I will climb the highest heights, I truly will
I will dive the deepest depths, I truly will
I will die ten times over before I will let anything happen to her
And I will protect her from the lies of this world,
The lies that tell her how to act, how to speak, how to live,
What is beautiful, what is pretty, what will get her far in life.
I will tell her what I see.
The inside, not the outside,
The virtue, not the personality,
The brokenness, not the false perfection,
The authenticity, not the superficiality,
The clinging to Christ, not the clinging to the world,
In this world but not of it,
She is my love.
That Proverbs 31 girl. How must I pursue you?
So distinct and so familiar
I feel at ease when I hear it
Yet I feel like my heart will burst when I hear it
The way she says one word,
The way she moves when she says that word,
Recalling it in my mind is not enough,
For it is only a mockery of the true beauty,
Idolatry at its finest pathetic nature.
How I want to arise to that voice every morning,
Just a mere whisper would suffice
In the middle of a dark wood,
The forest shadows wavering to and fro,
The darkest dark of the darkest night
Could not compete with her jovial glow.
So authentic, so genuine,
Superficiality is not in her vocabulary,
Who she is today is who she is tomorrow,
And I can hold her to her word.
She does not feel the need to change
The way she acts, the way she talks,
She can be herself, her beautiful self,
In any interaction, with any person.
She understands reverence, she understands humility,
But she will not feign kindness and a likable personality
Just to appease the masses.
Her virtues hold when all fall away.
A woman can fake a personality, and many have to me,
And I have almost dared to say that there is none who is not fake.
But her today is her tomorrow, her night is her day,
Her lowest of lows is her highest of highs,
And God is her center of being.
I value her above the world,
For how hard is it to find one like her?
I want to hold her tight, in my arms
And none will hurt her, none will take her away.
How majestic will it be,
How honorable will it be,
For she deserves to be pursued with all honor and virtue,
For she is not of the common pedestrian,
She is more.
I will climb the highest heights, I truly will
I will dive the deepest depths, I truly will
I will die ten times over before I will let anything happen to her
And I will protect her from the lies of this world,
The lies that tell her how to act, how to speak, how to live,
What is beautiful, what is pretty, what will get her far in life.
I will tell her what I see.
The inside, not the outside,
The virtue, not the personality,
The brokenness, not the false perfection,
The authenticity, not the superficiality,
The clinging to Christ, not the clinging to the world,
In this world but not of it,
She is my love.
That Proverbs 31 girl. How must I pursue you?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
She will not hear my song
I write this song for you,
No, I sing this song for you,
Yet, you don't hear the tune,
Your ears do not perk up at the soothing melody,
Your eyes do not shift in my direction in recognition,
Your heart is left unchanged,
I sing until my lungs give out,
And the soundtrack of my heartbeat becomes the anthem of my heartache.
I cannot guess what will impress you,
I cannot discern your highest desire,
It does not matter how much I learn about you -
From what irks you the most
To what makes your insides flutter,
Even if I could find what makes you turn inside out,
It doesn't matter if you don't even listen.
A click of the pen represents my impatient suffering,
The tip-tap scratch of every stroke is a bleeding emblem of my longwinded sermon of longing,
And all I can think of with every doodle of my dalliance
Is finding a way to woo, to win, to wake you to my existence.
What does it take, I ask you,
But not the real you but the you I see and can never get out of my shadow's side,
And all the world is a mere reflection
Of what I feel inside.
Give me an option, I beseech,
Multiplicity has its advantages -
Giving me at least a stroke of luck, a chance to show you how deeply I am distraught with the thought of having you slip through my sight, my fingers, my senses and all,
Even just an infinitely slim chance is better than absolute impossibility.
At least break my heart, then,
If you won't give me that chance.
I don't want to be stuck in this state of limbo the rest of my life.
I'd rather be shot down, left to die with a bleeding heart
That keeps bleeding till I die to this passion
So that I am purified, purged, cleaned of the overwhelming infatuation
That resides and flows through my veins.
Shoot me, you have the pistol in hand.
No, you have a rifle.
Shoot me straight and true, into my heart.
Make me die, please, if you will not even consider.
Then, my wound may heal.
My blood will be free from these bonds and will revel in its purity.
A passing moment will be just that - a passing moment -
Not a fleeting moment of lost opportunities.
I cannot stand living days of disappointment,
When every thought is of a letdown,
A sheer inability to follow through,
And I question my own worth,
And wonder why I am a masochist for love.
Melancholy is no escape from it all,
The numbing sadness is not an escape from the world,
Nor is it a respite from the unrequited feelings.
It is just a flip of the same coin,
And I don't want to play heads or tails -
I'd rather pay the debt and be broke.
I want you to see,
I want you to hear,
But if I can't do that, I'll do what it takes to be a friend,
As long as you shatter me first.
As long as you tell me straight and true
That it will NEVER be, it will NEVER be.
Give me a definite, an absolute,
I don't want relativism, I don't want generalities.
Tell me I have no chance,
Tell me to give up,
And I will be forced to move on,
And this impasse will no longer linger,
This brick wall will become a curtain of satin,
And I'll just have to break this window,
Walk across the broken glass with my bare feet,
Bleeding each step of the way,
But in the end, I'll be outside,
Free from this cage, this domicile, this bondage,
And I will be your friend.
I will put my all into your well-being,
I will be able to love you without looking for anything deeper,
I will be able to deny myself and all I want to give you what true service is.
This song may not be heard by you at all.
The tune may be mute, the melody may be discordant,
The words, the meter, all poetics indeed
Will be nothing more to you than a southwind's cry,
A wood grove's whisper,
And a sunray's blink.
I may be singing in vain, but it's all I can do.
Hollow me out, empty my heart,
The tread of the tires of my longing,
Need to be flattened, need to be shredded
During the high speed race on this track of fruitless pursuit,
I don't need a pit stop,
I need to step out of the track.
She will not hear my song.
She will not hear my song.
She will not hear my song.
How many time will I sing before she hears my song?
No, I sing this song for you,
Yet, you don't hear the tune,
Your ears do not perk up at the soothing melody,
Your eyes do not shift in my direction in recognition,
Your heart is left unchanged,
I sing until my lungs give out,
And the soundtrack of my heartbeat becomes the anthem of my heartache.
I cannot guess what will impress you,
I cannot discern your highest desire,
It does not matter how much I learn about you -
From what irks you the most
To what makes your insides flutter,
Even if I could find what makes you turn inside out,
It doesn't matter if you don't even listen.
A click of the pen represents my impatient suffering,
The tip-tap scratch of every stroke is a bleeding emblem of my longwinded sermon of longing,
And all I can think of with every doodle of my dalliance
Is finding a way to woo, to win, to wake you to my existence.
What does it take, I ask you,
But not the real you but the you I see and can never get out of my shadow's side,
And all the world is a mere reflection
Of what I feel inside.
Give me an option, I beseech,
Multiplicity has its advantages -
Giving me at least a stroke of luck, a chance to show you how deeply I am distraught with the thought of having you slip through my sight, my fingers, my senses and all,
Even just an infinitely slim chance is better than absolute impossibility.
At least break my heart, then,
If you won't give me that chance.
I don't want to be stuck in this state of limbo the rest of my life.
I'd rather be shot down, left to die with a bleeding heart
That keeps bleeding till I die to this passion
So that I am purified, purged, cleaned of the overwhelming infatuation
That resides and flows through my veins.
Shoot me, you have the pistol in hand.
No, you have a rifle.
Shoot me straight and true, into my heart.
Make me die, please, if you will not even consider.
Then, my wound may heal.
My blood will be free from these bonds and will revel in its purity.
A passing moment will be just that - a passing moment -
Not a fleeting moment of lost opportunities.
I cannot stand living days of disappointment,
When every thought is of a letdown,
A sheer inability to follow through,
And I question my own worth,
And wonder why I am a masochist for love.
Melancholy is no escape from it all,
The numbing sadness is not an escape from the world,
Nor is it a respite from the unrequited feelings.
It is just a flip of the same coin,
And I don't want to play heads or tails -
I'd rather pay the debt and be broke.
I want you to see,
I want you to hear,
But if I can't do that, I'll do what it takes to be a friend,
As long as you shatter me first.
As long as you tell me straight and true
That it will NEVER be, it will NEVER be.
Give me a definite, an absolute,
I don't want relativism, I don't want generalities.
Tell me I have no chance,
Tell me to give up,
And I will be forced to move on,
And this impasse will no longer linger,
This brick wall will become a curtain of satin,
And I'll just have to break this window,
Walk across the broken glass with my bare feet,
Bleeding each step of the way,
But in the end, I'll be outside,
Free from this cage, this domicile, this bondage,
And I will be your friend.
I will put my all into your well-being,
I will be able to love you without looking for anything deeper,
I will be able to deny myself and all I want to give you what true service is.
This song may not be heard by you at all.
The tune may be mute, the melody may be discordant,
The words, the meter, all poetics indeed
Will be nothing more to you than a southwind's cry,
A wood grove's whisper,
And a sunray's blink.
I may be singing in vain, but it's all I can do.
Hollow me out, empty my heart,
The tread of the tires of my longing,
Need to be flattened, need to be shredded
During the high speed race on this track of fruitless pursuit,
I don't need a pit stop,
I need to step out of the track.
She will not hear my song.
She will not hear my song.
She will not hear my song.
How many time will I sing before she hears my song?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Which
I deny pursuit
Holding back my heart's appeal
It isn't working
Give in, surrender
Or guard the walls with restrict
In my own prison
Liberate the heart
Liberate the mind, which one
Both can lock my soul
Holding back my heart's appeal
It isn't working
Give in, surrender
Or guard the walls with restrict
In my own prison
Liberate the heart
Liberate the mind, which one
Both can lock my soul
Apple, Orange, Watermelon, Me?
The core of passion found in an apple bitten
Contains the seed of wondrous love forbidden,
Courageous, brazen, lukewarm lackluster unlimited,
Nothing holds you back, this is how desire is affiliated,
I peel back the flesh of the sour citrus of my soul,
It claims to be seedless, yet I choke on them all,
Careful now, don't hasten the unveiling,
A sting in my eye will be ever prevailing,
The hard rind of my outermost shell
Conceals the delicious delicacy that does compel
Me to be a love of many occasion,
The fruit of my heart prevents emaciation.
Contains the seed of wondrous love forbidden,
Courageous, brazen, lukewarm lackluster unlimited,
Nothing holds you back, this is how desire is affiliated,
I peel back the flesh of the sour citrus of my soul,
It claims to be seedless, yet I choke on them all,
Careful now, don't hasten the unveiling,
A sting in my eye will be ever prevailing,
The hard rind of my outermost shell
Conceals the delicious delicacy that does compel
Me to be a love of many occasion,
The fruit of my heart prevents emaciation.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
I possess an uncanny ability to make any conversation seem really awkward, even without the use of words. It's often because I don't really know how to communicate in ways that normal human beings interact, since I must have been born inept of that ability. Alas. Therefore, if I seem to be disinterested, uncomfortable, or fidgety in speech or action during a conversation with you, it isn't because I find something wrong with you or anything - it's just me struggling very hard to hold a simple conversation and small talk. It's rather amusing for me to look back on the day and recount each time I made a seemingly casual and simple conversation into an awkward period of pauses, silence, and jaggedly hesitant utterances that instantly make the other end of the conversation absolutely weirded out.
^ I should totally work on this...
Oh, and I think I was born with a natural tendency to have a scowl on my face as my default expression. So, just as a computer will go to a screensaver during idle times, my face decides to revert to a default "scowl setting."
If, by chance, I am not in a "scowl setting," I have noticed that I tend to stare off into either a random fixed point in the distance, regardless of the fact that I am or not involved in a conversation. Either that, or an imaginary fixed point within 3 feet of me, usually at a downwards angle (like my hands or the ground or my feet) is my eyes' wandering point during any given time. I can't seem to understand the rules and etiquette of eye-contact during conversation, so I often try to avoid any complications altogether. You seriously have no idea how many times I find myself half blanking out at aforementioned haphazard fixed points of gaze both in and out of conversation. And, if the conversation goes long enough, I often oscillate between several points in the distance or in my vicinity, making it look like I'm chasing a bee with my eyes. I'm not, really, but it would be a much better and less silly sounding way to explain my apparent inability to know where I should focus my eyes in conversation.
^ I should totally work on this...
Oh, and I think I was born with a natural tendency to have a scowl on my face as my default expression. So, just as a computer will go to a screensaver during idle times, my face decides to revert to a default "scowl setting."
If, by chance, I am not in a "scowl setting," I have noticed that I tend to stare off into either a random fixed point in the distance, regardless of the fact that I am or not involved in a conversation. Either that, or an imaginary fixed point within 3 feet of me, usually at a downwards angle (like my hands or the ground or my feet) is my eyes' wandering point during any given time. I can't seem to understand the rules and etiquette of eye-contact during conversation, so I often try to avoid any complications altogether. You seriously have no idea how many times I find myself half blanking out at aforementioned haphazard fixed points of gaze both in and out of conversation. And, if the conversation goes long enough, I often oscillate between several points in the distance or in my vicinity, making it look like I'm chasing a bee with my eyes. I'm not, really, but it would be a much better and less silly sounding way to explain my apparent inability to know where I should focus my eyes in conversation.
Friday, April 3, 2009
In or Out
Relinquish the ravishing umbrage of a long-forgotten woe,
The glory of a wondrous blame is never the first to go,
Imperative, yet beseeching, the windless breath of mine,
Cannot hold a limber lute within a flask refined.
I beg of ye to hand me three of careless empty sketch,
Poisoned sore and evermore is but a twig to fetch,
And gazing supermassive, this walloping eye,
Draws me ever nearer with purposed gravity.
The glory of a wondrous blame is never the first to go,
Imperative, yet beseeching, the windless breath of mine,
Cannot hold a limber lute within a flask refined.
I beg of ye to hand me three of careless empty sketch,
Poisoned sore and evermore is but a twig to fetch,
And gazing supermassive, this walloping eye,
Draws me ever nearer with purposed gravity.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Experimenting
Can you appreciate the past
And focus on the dread
Of casting lines into what's next,
Appealing to the dead?
Requite the loss and longing woe,
The baker's bread is burnt,
I cannot choose to purify
What furnace cannot churn.
Where can I stand when all is fall,
Floorboards creak dilution,
Plaster crumbles, the roof is rank,
To paint is the solution.
And focus on the dread
Of casting lines into what's next,
Appealing to the dead?
Requite the loss and longing woe,
The baker's bread is burnt,
I cannot choose to purify
What furnace cannot churn.
Where can I stand when all is fall,
Floorboards creak dilution,
Plaster crumbles, the roof is rank,
To paint is the solution.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Untitled
Wretched, broken, coarse, and vain,
Here I stand, my hands are stained,
I chase a life for my intent,
But it never will my heart content.
Trapped inside, I'm buried alive,
The consequence of my decision lies,
At last I break a fist to air,
But now I just can wave despair.
A thousand rights won't fix my wrong,
My choices are made, can't be undone,
Although the world may pass me by,
I know you're there, hearing my cries.
Here I stand, my hands are stained,
I chase a life for my intent,
But it never will my heart content.
Trapped inside, I'm buried alive,
The consequence of my decision lies,
At last I break a fist to air,
But now I just can wave despair.
A thousand rights won't fix my wrong,
My choices are made, can't be undone,
Although the world may pass me by,
I know you're there, hearing my cries.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Just words
Sometimes I envy those who speak
And woo with ease and skill,
They make the girls stop and swoon
Until they have their fill.
Why can't I say the words to show
That I am only hers?
Maybe it's 'cause when it is love,
It can't be held in words.
And woo with ease and skill,
They make the girls stop and swoon
Until they have their fill.
Why can't I say the words to show
That I am only hers?
Maybe it's 'cause when it is love,
It can't be held in words.
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